He held me close. It was a timeless time and a space-less space.
Then, in a gut wrenching moment, we were torn apart. By forces beyond my control, forces without a conscience, forces under the dictatorship of life's insatiable need to beget more of itself.
He would not let me go so easily. He followed me into the watery prison. Waves of blood gushed around us as we enveloped ourselves in our tears, drawing sustenance from the salt.
But time was no longer timeless. All too soon, He softly let go, as I fell screaming into life...
He hovered over me, though I longer recognized Him. Caressed my hair in the dark and whispered in my ear about our time together, while I slept.
During the waking hours, I was taught to fear and revile Him. Fear His honesty, fear His integrity, fear His implacability, fear His complete freedom, fear His absolute impartiality, fear His refusal to cower before life, fear His fearlessness...
On a few occasions when I did manage to feel Him close, I ran away... too scared to notice the hurt in His eyes... too scared to look deeper... too scared to understand the gentleness beneath the terrifying facade...
But He would not give up so easily... He kept his distance when I was a child... but as I became a woman, He could no longer stay away. He could not bear to see me love anyone but Him. So He took them away and forced me to look at Him instead. To recognize Him. To love Him as I once did. But I could not.
I raged against Him. Hated Him for taking away all that I loved. Furious at my refusal, He tried to take me by force.
Life came to my rescue. I pushed Him away and eloped with life. I ran. Away from Him. Away from myself. Away from all I ever was. Ran till I was no longer me. Ran till I could no longer recognize myself. Ran away till no one remembered me anymore.
He remembered.
He followed me.
As I went cruising along with life, I knew He was watching me from a distance. Watching life drug me, watching life seduce me, watching life play with my heart...watching me... and waiting...
Soon life's promises started to ring hollow... life's little seduction game started to bore me... because I slowly started to remember...
As my memory came back, He came closer. And I no longer shied away. He did not say he loved me. He did not make promises. He did not know what those words meant. And I realized, neither did I. Because I could finally remember what it was like in a world that began and ended with the two of us, to be enveloped by Him in a cocoon so tight that words, even those like "love" and "promises", had no space to rattle around.
I told him I was ready to be His. But life tried to drag me back... life was telling me how much he loved me, promising me the world, promising to keep his promises, promising to cherish me forever, as if life could ever know what forever meant...
He cast an amused look at life. He told me go play with this handsome, heartless, ruthless rake called life for a little bit longer. While He keeps a watchful eye on me.
Because once Death decides to make you His own, it literally takes your breath away.
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